I'm back..

Yes definately. Its been months. I got totally effed up.hehe...random things, you know just show up. So then I decided that I should just maybe give my blog some sense, and so does my life. I've been dying to blog for days. I seem to forget a lot. Like I said, random things.

I miss some friends here! That hopefully would hang around!hehe I'm pretty emotional nowadays, but I'm working on it!

I don't know where to start actually. I'm pretty pre-occupied.

This is a totally random post. Please guys, don't confuse yourselves. LoL!

Hey guys. Sorry for this late repost. It was like I didn't feel like posting for a while.hehe
how are you anyway?! Missed the panggugulo sometimes...

Ooh! By the way! Thank you so much for dropping by my blog! I appreciate you people being here...it still keeps my company even though I am AFK.

For everyone who posted their reps on my last post...whoa, those were like reminders and reality checks for me!hehe sometimes I do not really know or remember what to do on scenarios similar as my "taek trouble". THANK YOU

Now for the latest scoop.haha. Well lotsa things happened actually. I can't enumerate all cause you know a day can give you a hundred pages to fill in with the events that take place.

Guess what...? I get to play taek again! We'll be having my debut game in a tournament in Guimaras on the 19th! please do pray for me! hehe...

MIDTERMS on the 14th-16th!

Now this is where I get to test my time management skills which are as of now a bit weak...hehe

My heart is a bit weak too. Well still praying for that moment that it doesn't get hurt again. I'll explain further as time ticks itself away...

toodles.

"you're making a choice to live like this
in all of the noise
I am silence"
Light Up the Sky by Yellowcard

I am back...finally back. and confused mind you. Ouchy, too many things to do.

Guys, I think I do need an advice. Care to read on?
You see, I was once a Taekwondo devotee. I can say until this very minute. I miss it so badly--I wanted to play again, before it's too late. The 'rents won't let me and I'd be having a hard time looking for the money to be spent on tournaments. I was once a college varsity in taekwondo until I stopped and gave it up all because I ran for the Student Council in our college. It was a tough decision. I thought I was really going to be contented with all my responsibilities at hand.

There had been a lot of nights--nightmares. It would haunt me every now and then. It repeats over and over again, asleep or awake, over and over again in my thoughts..."play--play--play taekwondo once again". It does hurt. I wanted to play "my sport". It was the only sport I was good at. I failed at basketball, I never knew how to serve in volleyball, I was a dumbass in chess and I can't even guard a ball as goalie in soccer!

I miss it so much, God please help me. My head says, I had to focus to what I want--a good job, feed my family and in that way I would be satisfied. Satisfied, yes, but it doesn't totally mean I am happy. Sometimes with too much focus on one thing--we miss out on a lot of exciting things in life. That is so painful. I have 2 years to play...still two years to play. What do I do now? I only live once, I still wanted to play. But, I didn't want to think only of myself. What would my parents say? They'd be so heartbroken if I decide to play again. When all they have ever wanted was to see me on top of the ladder. Academics.

I could still remember way back high school. My parents never went up to give me my medal. I was the lone "Sports Awardee" for the Special Science Class. They never wanted me to play any sport. Play the ordinary, typical play yes but play for your school as a varsity? No. No way. They've been closing their minds since high school.

My prob is, I didn't want them mad. Frustrated and Heartbroken. I want them to be happy. Now, I can't do things that would make me happy, because I had to look back at them and ask myself this "simple" question (simple?!): "Are they happy when I am happy?" and "Am I gonna be happy when they're not?"

Ouch.

"You're always on display
For everyone to watch and learn from
Don't you know by now
You can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have"
Song: Fences by Paramore

Oooh Lala...at last. An Update!haha

well to all you guys who never got tired of coming back here dropping a message on my tagboard, thank you very much. And to those who dropped by? yeah, thanks too!

I missed every bit of my blog too. Actually I didn't want to open it. Tempting. haha!

Now what has happened to me these past few days...hmm... Okay let me enumerate them:

♥ I got assigned with buckets of activities in school. Like our College Christmas Tree that was needed for the December Blast event in our University.

♥ I was the Chairman for the Outreach Program in ICT so I had to work the double work. But I was so glad that it was finally done!ha!

♥ Series of meetings from the University student council which brought me into my knees every time I arrive the room. [I am the College Representative of ICT--that's why]

♥ Kuya Bob! Miss you!--okay that was an extra

♥ Hell yeah...after all the job attacks...what would you guys expect?! Fever.
[dang I wasn't able to go online that much]

♥ Series of meetings? Series of illnesses. First? The Ear-ache...my Dad said I had to see the doctor. So he sent me enough money for consultation and man he payed a lot. [don't ask =sigh=], Second? The Eye infection. Again, another medication. My friend Jiji had to give me her old med. *thanks jij! Lastly? The soar throat. So much for vocalization then staying inside a cold room (full thermostat and steady air-conditioned room). Oh wait! Did I say lastly?! No! Wrong...there's still another one! Here comes the "FLU". I had it in the middle of Sir Mike's class. We had to go to the clinic...but I was glad it was over. I still have stuffy nose though.

♥ I needed rest. Thank You.

Whoo...it isn't the end of that. December Blast next week, 7. Christmas Party on the 13th. That's it. Then, we still need to come back to school in between breaks. Maybe after Christmas. Naah, I wouldn't want to think it's hard. What you think is what it will be. Invented the line myself but heard similar quotes as that of mine.

Tests? Yeah, had them too. Frustrating though. Trigonometry? I almost didn't pass back then [in High School]. Eouch. I didn't like Math then. hehe...now I kinda fell in love with it.hehe

Learned something today! There was this mini-serious discush between the SC officers just a while ago in the meeting. It's too long but there was a thought that struck me to my seat.

"You people are different from them. Because you are leaders. Therefore, you stand higher and earns more respect than other people. Therefore, you should serve them back. Therefore, you shouldn't think of yourselves.

Going out on national seminars does benefit you. But remember...you were sent there to apply them for SERVICE"

Dang...I almost forgot that one. For Service. People often think, being part of the Student Council is all about fullfiling responsibilities, accomplishing what is required, hell wrong. The core basis of being a good leader is service. I mentioned it a couple of times in this post. Yeah, so that I wouldn't dare forget what I was there for. Why I was there for.

I could've thought more of them...instead of equally--for them and for myself. That wasn't what Rizal taught us. [Don't ask I was part of the Rizal Youth Leadership Institute--and I kind of forgot what I've learned there]

Nothing is Impossible. Impossible is nothing. Never take every hard-taking as a burden but a opportunity for growth. Few of the things I've learned from a seminar where I was sent. Just sharing a part of it to you guys.

I need some time alone to reflect, I think. I've come a long long way from being a High School nobody to a College Leader. Maaan, now that's something to thank about tonight!

Kinda tired now guys... so this is the end of it. Toodles!

"Time
Spent waiting off shore
The calm
Before the storm

My take
From you is simple

So heal
Your fear
To heal
Your fear"

Listening to: Comfortable Liar by Chevelle

I'm still pre-occupied with school. Stressed me so much i guess. I have this little prob with my memory. I don't seem to remember a lot of things already. I dunno why. I'm really kinda scared and freaked out everytime I sense some little stupidity in the things that I do.
yipes. Creepy. Got any suggestions regarding the memo prob? Please...drop your comments after this post guys. Thanks.

For the meantime, I just finished working on my abs. Heard it right gang. The abs. My tummy's getting a bit bigger again and I had to "push it" and "work it" before our senoirs see me. By the way, in case you guys didn't realize this, I came from a college department that has the least population in school [200-300] students I guess. And I ran as College Rep in our department's student council. I easily became a socially-inclined student; knowing almost everybody else in the department and some faces from other colleges in our University. I became the closest sophie to our senoirs and we digg chatting and playing around like kiddies. I eat dinner with them or lunch, we often pass greetings and quotes. Particularly to the senior guys! haha!
I really dunno how I got close to them guys, I even got involved with one of them! No, not some love affair, we just had a lot of issues. I terribly miss my kuyas we texted the whole day yesterday, each having their own time texting with me. Yeah, not all together. Wondering why they seem so far away? Yes, because they are! They're in Pampanga right now, some in Cebu and Manila--having their OJT.

I could still remember back then when we would spend time together inside the student-council office (my our office becomes a tambayan sometimes!), we would be teasing around making funny stories and hurting one another.haha! No, not the negative form of hurting, it's not like we really mean those mini-punches! lol crazy people... Nakakainis ka yo! Namimiss ko mga sabunutan natin! Puts a tear in my eye. I wonder what it would be like without them next year. Gloomy I supposed, lifeless. No hair to pull, arms to slap, uniforms to paint markers on...and backs to sleep on (when I get really tired from work, one of them would offer his back and I would just lie on it like a sleepy child and save the rest of the time for rest). Dang, how I miss the senior guys and the rest of the senior people.

There was this time when we ate dinner together with 3 or 4 of them (since some were really busy with thesis work), Kuya Bob apologized for the constant mocks that they give me. He confessed that the fourth year guys never had a baby sister before. They found me, easy to tease, easily offended and they just laugh about it. Then Kuya Bob said that they loved me as their own sister--in school. I miss those times. We exchange stories too...and mind you, guys have girl-like secrets too! haha! It's kinda surprising to hear chikas from them as if they were just one of my girl pals.

I miss them very much!

Labels: abs, missing, senior guys

"They taped over your mouth scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies"
Listening to: "Crushcrushcrush" by Paramore

Hey, not so new to blogging. But I'm trying to come back. Still haven't figured out how to make my own layout.

Someone just filled my tummy with butterflies. I actually edited the screen shot. I couldn't help it, I am currently experiencing the feeling of being in High School. Mini Crushes. Piff. I ain't about those things in the first place since I got out from secondary edu.

If you check my friendster account. You could see the first comment. It was simple. As simple as a "Dropped By..." phrase. But hey! You can't help when tummies rumble for excitement and content.

I act like a tomboy. That's what they say. Well, tomboys could have little crushes too! [I'm 18 for God's sake!] There's nothing wrong with that. No boyfrieds, not a single kiss from a guy. [what the heck right?!] I just didn't want to break me tiny heart that's why I'm being to careful (at least not too overboard). I just didn't have time to relationships. But this?!

I got a little crushie...from a senior cutie. Now that is so cheesy.

Labels: crush

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